Some time ago Men’s Health ran an article titled 32 Things You Can Do with Beer. Some of the things, like putting a cold beer near the thermostat to make the heater come on using beer as a compass or to loosen rusted bolts, while very MacGyver-esque, are a little far-fetched. Others, like using it to kill slugs or make beer bread are well known uses for our favorite beverage.
I don’t know if this article inspired others to make similar lists, but you can find articles like 21 Great Uses for Beer and 17 Things You Can Do with Beer all over the inter-tubes. Most of them have about the same information with a little variation.
So let me add some new uses for beer that don’t appear on any of these lists (that I saw) which are consistent with MacGyver’s propensity to take the mundane and turn it into a clever force for good:
1. Make a beer bottle solar-powered water heater
Isn’t exactly a use for beer but those bottles won’t empty themselves! If anyone can turn trash into a working home appliance, it’s Mac.
2. Change the world
Beer can be a catalyst for change by bringing people together for a greater good. MacGyver is politically liberal: standing for environmental preservation, racial equality, assisting the poor. Drinking Liberally sounds right up his alley.
4. Drink it!
Seems kind of obvious, does it not? I mean, Scots love their beer as much as their neighbors to the south.
The thing that bothers me about these lists is the notion that you need to do something with beer besides enjoy it. Sure MacGyver could probably escape from a Russian Gulag with a bottle of Baltika Parnassus but would he? I mean, he’s a smart guy. I’m thinking he could find a paper clip and a old shoe to serve as his means of escape and save the beer for after.
My advice is use shampoo to wash your hair and WD-40 for those rusty bolts. Life is too short to waste beer! I’m sure MacGyver would agree.